Jokes

The latest hot topic today is that certain quarters of Indonesians are launching the "Sapu Malaysia" mission. They have sort of military preparations with food stock up and believe that some of them were paid to demo and attack Malaysian students and residences in Indonesia. Thus, our Malaysians over there have to imitate the Indonesian counterparts in dressing up code to avoid being identified as Malaysians.

I think we need a break from all this ridiculous attack just because of the Pendet dance from Bali. It is really not a joke for patriotic or fanatic Indonesians on loyalty issues. Previously, there were issues on Rasa Sayang and Negaraku songs.

As laughter is the best medicine, wish to share the best jokes collected from countries published in Readers Digest, September 2009 issues to brighten up our day. Enjoy reading and have fun...

Argentina
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.

"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.

"She'll eat, " the husband assures him. "We share everything."

Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"

The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"


Australia

A polar bear walks into a bar and says , " Give me a scotch and...Coke."

"Why the long pause?" asks the bartender.

"I don't know,"says the bear. I've always had them."


Finland

Hannu wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day earlier to make all the arrangements. That night, he e-mails her but misspells the address and it goes to recent widow.

The next day, the widow's son finds out his mother passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this e-mail : "My darling wife, I've just gotten here and everything's set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip down here will be as pleasant as mine. P.S. It's really hot!"

Hungary

Doctor : Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?

Patient : Yes.

Doctor : So your asthma disappeared completely?

Patient : No, but my watch, TV, iPod and laptop have

Philippines

Joe, Mike, Mary and Tom were talking about their dream jobs.

"I want to be a lawyer," Joe began, "so that I can defend my countrymen."

"I want to be a congressman," said Mike, "so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen."

"I want to be a doctor," said Mary, "so that I can cure my countrymen."

"How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?" asked Joe.

Tom thought a moment and replied, "I'd like to be a countryman."


Switzerland

Wife : Honey, did you notice? I bought a new toilet brush.

Husband : Yes, I did. But I still prefer the paper